Title: Philip: Yaoi/Yuri
Genre: Friendship, Humour
Warning: Erm... Nosebleed?
Summary: Philip discovers yaoi. And yuri. Oh dear.
It was another regular day at the Narumi Detective Agency. Shoutarou was dozing off on the sofa, Akiko was reading a doujinshi she had picked up at a convention and Philip was, well, being Philip. That is to say, he had locked himself in the hanger doing more research on common everyday topics.
After his arms started cramping up, a result of hours spent scribbling on vertical whiteboards, Philip finally decided to take a short break and went to join his partner and Akiko in the office.
As he slowly enjoyed his cup of hot Milo, he couldn't help but notice Akiko's occasional high-pitched squeals. Curiosity eventually got the better of him and he went over to find out what Akiko really was doing.
“Aki-chan, what are you reading?”
Akiko glanced and saw Philip's face merely inches away from hers. She gave a short yelp and tried to hide her doujinshi, blushing as she did so.
“It-it's nothing, Philip-kun. Go back to your research or something!”
Philip cocked his head to the side. Akiko was acting suspiciously.
“Just let me see that, I want to know what it is!” He tried to snatch the book away, but Akiko pushed him away with a kick.
Defeated, Philip dragged his feet in disappointment back to the table and continues to drink his Milo, pouting slightly as he stared into space.
Finally, Akiko gave in to the abandoned-puppy look Philip always gave when he wanted something badly and held out the doujinshi to him.
Philip's face immediately lit up as he took the doujinshi and began to study its contents. It wasn't long before he started asking a few interesting questions.
“Aki-chan, what are they doing?”
Akiko looked at the panel he was pointing to and blushed, trying to appear innocent as she tried to look away. “Y-you're the guy with all the information in your head! Why don't you find out yourself?”
Philip brought his forefinger to his lips out of habit, before gulping down the rest of his drink and returning to the hanger. “Let me borrow this for a while, Aki-chan.”
As he slammed the door behind him, Akiko paced around the office anxiously. “Ah, what am I going to tell Shoutarou-kun?”
After precisely 10 rounds of pacing around the office, Akiko finally decided to check on Philip.
Shoutarou yawned loudly and stretched like a cat as he came out of his wonderful dream. It wasn't often that he dreamt of being successful in reeling in a lady. He was reluctant to wake up, but there was a city to protect, he couldn't possibly spend his entire day sleeping. Not that there's much else to do anyway.
Nearby, Akiko was lying on the floor, staring at the rotating ceiling fan with a stunned expression and a small pile of tissue papers spotted in small amounts of blood. She had a small trickle of blood from her nose drying up.
“Oi Akiko, what are you doing on the floor?”
Without moving from her position on the dusty floor, Akiko lifted an arm to point at the door where Shoutarou's prized fedora hats hung.
He sighed heavily before heading for the door to the hanger. He had a nagging feeling about this and frankly, this wasn't the first time, nor would it be the last.
Upon stepping inside the secret room, Shoutarou screamed comically.
“WHAT IS THAT!?”
Philip looked up from his book. “Oh Shoutarou, I bet you've never heard of yaoi!”
Surrounding him were whiteboards covered in notes about the topic and rather graphic drawings. A small corner of the nearest whiteboard wrote “Yuri =/= Yaoi”. Much of the contents on the whiteboards were so graphic, Shoutarou found himself staring at the HardBoilder in utter embarrassment. He didn't even know some of the things proudly displayed on the whiteboards were possible.
'Is this kid even old enough to know about these things?' He thought in horror. He quickly dismissed the idea since Philip would completely abandon his research when he was done. But still, a single question begged to be answered. He cleared his throat to get the boy's attention.
“Oi Philip, why are you looking at this filth!? Who told you about yaoi?”
“But it's fascinating! I didn't know they have conventions dedicated to this subject! Maybe I can ask Akiko to take me to one of them...”
Back in the main office...
“AKIKO!!! Why did you tell Philip about yaoi!?”
“I didn't! He just snatched my doujinshi from me while I was reading!”
“Ah mou! What am I going to do now?” Shoutarou laid back on the sofa and covered his face with his hat, trying to fall back into blissful dreamland. If he were lucky, this would just another horrible nightmare.
Unfortunately, it wasn't.
When Shoutarou got up reluctantly, he went back to check on his partner, hoping that they could go out for lunch without embarrassing themselves with Philip's ramblings. What he saw affected Shoutarou worse than before.
“You're into yuri now!?”
Philip turned to look at the detective and gave a firm nod with that berserk face of his. “It's even more fascinating than yaoi! The possibilities are almost endless in yuri!”
The graphic drawings and notes about yaoi had been replaced with even more graphic content of yuri. Shoutarou felt his face heating up. A blood vessel burst in his nose.
“Shoutarou? Are you alright? You're bleeding.”
Shoutarou quickly wiped his nose with a piece of tissue Philip offered. After the bleeding stopped, he replied “I'm alright.”
In actual fact, he was far from alright. Though he refused to admit it, Shoutarou was physically affected by the diagrams Philip had recreated so accurately. He hastily excused himself from the hanger and plopped himself on the same sofa, trying to erase what he had seen from his mind.
Akiko, drinking a cup of orange juice, looked at Shoutarou, who was currently venting his frustration on a cushion by screaming into it.
After Shoutarou finally calmed down, Akiko offered a cup of coffee she had brewed to the man in agony. He took it gratefully.
“He's researching yuri now?”
As the 2 sat at the coffee table, they wearily drank their own coffee in silence. This was broken when Akiko spoke up again.
“Philip-kun still hasn't returned my doujinshi.”